Christmas 2010

After quite a number of years, we actually had people over this year on Christmas. Back in the day, we used to celebrate Christmas, not because we were Christian, but it was always an opportunity to get together with those that we love. I guess growing up in Trinidad where everyone celebrated everything, Christmas was just another chance to celebrate our multi-cultural heritage. We are muslim, and our faith is not one that lends itself to the sheer joy and exhuberance of Christmas.
I have always loved Christmas. It was a time of fun, presents, parties and gifts. Growing up we always had a tree. Every year there would be presents under that tree. I kept that tradition with my own kids. We always made a big deal of Christmas. It was only after my brother passed away that Christmas and its traditions became quite sad for our family. There was no more getting together at his place on Christmas Eve and staying until just after midnight so that we could open presents at his house. Then he would come over to our house on Christmas Day. We would always wait to open presents until he and his wife came over. Those were good years. The first year after Azim died, I tried to keep the tradition, but it was too painful for Sherry. After that, I guess in order to move on with her life, she stopped coming over at Christmas. I guess we were a reminder of what she had lost, and as much as it hurt, I could understand her reluctance to be around us. As for the kids, this coincided with them beginning to grow up. Christmas became for us just another day off. We slept in late. There were no more presents. It would take years before we could summon up joy at that time of year.
But as with everything, time changes things. The kids have grown up. Azam is engaged to Neda. Aaron is seeing Nikki. Ansaar has the dogs.
This year we lost my Dad, and once again Christmas was difficult. The one thing that I did however, was to not let it get us to the same place that we were when Zim died. I decided to surround us with those that we care about.
My cousin Joey came over. His wife Sarah worked and was working early the next morning, so she did not come. Neda and her parents came over. Nikki came over, as did Neda's sister Ziba, her husband Varqa and their kids. I made turkey with stuffing and gravy, potato gratin, wild rice, vegetables and baked my much-loved sponge cake, as well as a tres-leche coconut cupcake with dulche de leche and buttercream icing. My mom made the most amazing pone(cassava cake), and coconut sweetbread. She also made Dhalpuri roti and curry duck. Neda's Mom made a Saffron chicken and mango salad. Nikki's Mom sent over a Phillipino stuffed fish. The food was most excellent!!
More importantly though, our family was together. Being busy kept both my Mom and myself from getting totally depressed. The feelings of loss will truly never go away, but at least we were not alone so that all we did was focus on what was missing in our lives.
We had a lovely dinner. We talked, we laughed. The kids played video games. The parents watched. Nothing earth-shattering happened. Just good food, warm company, and lots of love. Some days, life can be good...